Thursday, October 7, 2010

why couldn't we have gotten a sleeper?!

when kellen was a baby, aa and i were pretty sure that we had been lucky enough to get an "easy" baby. not that we didn't have our challenges, but he was pretty easy-going, rarely cried and slept relatively well (not through the night for a long time, but went to sleep on his own practically!). it didn't take long after maya was born for us to realize that what we thought about kellen being an easy baby was in fact VERY true! don't trust them when they say second babies are easy!

very few things about maya has been easy. feeding - not easy...not a bit! sleeping - THE worst! and as a parent of a toddler, sleeping throughout the day was not an option, so into our bed she came. we all seemed to get the most sleep that way and we thought it wouldn't last long. SO wrong! she is STILL in our bed...but only if i am in it does she sleep comfortably, so we've created some very bad habits. in fact, if you read any of the sleep books out there, you will find that i am breaking every rule.

an article from one of the parenting magazines i receive had an article to inform parents of the five habits that make nighttime a nightmare for parents.

sleep trap #1: feeding or rocking your baby to sleep - yep! maya searches for me at night when she is getting tired and wants nothing to do with anyone else...she just wants the goods. i don't know how to break her of this. i actually wish that she took a pacifier, but of pacifier for her, I am her pacifier!

sleep trap #2: picking up the baby each time she cries - for sure! there are a couple of reasons for this - but mainly because she's in our room/bed it makes it hard to let her cry because we need our sleep and i know that if i just hold her, she'll go right back to sleep. also don't want kellen to wake up...but seriously that kid sleeps like a log, so it's probably just an excuse...i don't like to hear my baby cry! here's another thing...the girl pukes if we do let her cry. i have actually tried a few times and every time she's puked. just wasn't worth it!

sleep trap#3: extending night feedings - of course! remember, i am her pacificer and i feed her to sleep and i pick her up or snuggle her every time she cries, so of course in order to get her back to sleep, i feed her. ugh.

sleep trap#4: napping on the go - duh...she's the second baby! that is the only time she gets a nap! especially now that i'm home and we don't want to just stay home. besides, i've tried to stay home and create a nice napping routine, but the girl hates to nap...unless someone is holding her that is!

sleep trap#5: letting your baby stay up too late - well, she only sleeps with me and i'm not interested in going to bed at 8:30! but seriously, we have tried tried tried to get her to go to sleep at a decent hour, but she just doesn't like to go to sleep before 9 or 10! i so used to judge parents for not putting their baby to bed at a decent hour and now i'm that parent.

yikes! poor girl sleeps on the couch until i'm ready to go to bed and this is how i found her the other night when i came into the room! it was the first time she's done something like that...i'm just so glad she didn't fall off...cause that would have for sure woke her up! ;)

you'd think that because she is our second baby we would know better...but i'm truly convinced that it is more about the baby and what is going on inside of them, then it is about the parents doing something right! at least that is what i keep telling myself to make myself feel better.

when she was about four months, i thought that perhaps the sleep thing was coming around - she had actually slept in her own bed from 11pm - 4am. that my friends is the longest stretch she has ever slept and it happened ONCE! i'm starting to feel like she may never be out of our bed, but really that is not an option for us! i know there will come a point where i/we will have enough and we'll come up with a plan. i'm pretty sure that the first thing we need to do is really create a room or space of her own. poor baby girl doesn't actually have a bedroom. that would probably be a good start! she has a pack and play in the office, but i haven't been able to get her to sleep for even a half hour in it for about a month.

Aa taking a turn at holding her before we all retire to bed.

so...any sleep advice for me? i actually think i know it all and that really i/we just need to be ready. but there is part of me that is starting to feel like i'm failing her by not teaching her to soothe herself and wondering if she is actually getting enough good sleep. so, just in case you have some miracle solution...please let me know.

in the meantime, i'm actually just going to enjoy it as much as i can. waking up to your baby with her arm around you and being able to kiss her head before you drift off to sleep isn't the worst thing in the world. i'm not having any more babies and i know how fast this goes, so i'm just going to be thankful for it...because there will be a time when all i want to do is snuggle up with my girl and she will roll her eyes at me with disgust!

if she's not in one of our arms, we can usually get the boppy to simulate the feeling of her being held...but she'll only be tricked for so long until she wakes up and we have to soothe her back to sleep again! she sure looks sweet though!

1 comment:

Dottie said...

She is so darling Ang. I think if you've made it this far, you should just enjoy it for awhile longer...yes thats coming from the lady who hired a sleep trainer at 10 weeks for Davis...but at this age its going to be challenging to change it so just enjoy it. Hope that doesn't come out wrong. Good luck!